We’ve all heard it before… if only we would “just relax”, surely our fertility troubles would disappear!

But complex biological problems aren’t that simple. Stress doesn’t cause infertility, and relaxation doesn’t fix it.

This isn’t your fault.

And you are not alone.

Don’t let their resilience fool you… children grieve too.

It makes sense that they might be worried about what this new pregnancy means for them and their family.

Children need support through pregnancy after loss too.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can be helpful for some people some of the time, but nothing fits everyone. Here, I talk about why CBT may miss the mark when it comes to supporting those experiencing infertility or baby loss, and the things we need to prioritise in a psychologist beyond the brand-name therapy they use.

There are parts of parenting that feel so much harder after loss. When you have been touched by death, the vulnerability of life comes into sharper focus. Our parenthood journey is irrevocably changed, but it’s not all for the worse.

The wound we carry from the death of our baby runs deep. The sting may soften, but a scar remains. At first, we may wish it would fully fade, but over time, we may come to recognise it as a symbol of our eternal love.

It is impossible to compare one loss to another. The ways we feel and hold our grief are different for each of us. But perhaps some of our heartache is shared territory. Let's choose to support each other instead.

The way loss touches our lives is as unique as we are. Here, I share a little of my own story. It may be worlds apart from yours, and yet you may recognise similarities in our shared, earth-shattering grief. Perhaps we are more alike than we are different.

I'm so sorry for your loss, too.